LET LOVE LEAD!

Exactly a year ago I posted this status. I still stand by this statement.

The day this generations truly falls in love and not anticipate heartache. The day this generation stops trying so hard to protect their hearts and let love flow in and out just like the blood that keeps it pumping. The day this generation is freed from unrealistic relationship goals that only exist on pictures, movies and fairytales. The day this generation realises that a relationship is not as exciting as pay-day, but rather difficult as watching the debit order message come in. The day this generation realises that fights, arguments and tears in a relationship are a sign of growth, acceptance and mending two different halves to a magical whole. That day is the day this generation will be freed from unnecessary chest pains and freed from saying ‘I was born to be alone’… That day is the day we all should wish for and hope that when it eventually comes, we turn it into our everyDAY experience.

 

IS EDUCATION A TRAP?

How many of us are stay home graduates? So many qualified people with no job opportunities for them. I remember in my matric year, all I wanted was to go to Johannesburg because I knew it was a city of opportunities, many of them but I needed a reason to be in JHB. My family was not trying to pay for rent for no reason. I enrolled at UJ because to me; that was reason enough for me to be in JHB. I didn’t know what I wanted to study and had no career guidance. I chose what was ‘fun’ and went for it. Three years later I obtained my degree – a degree that I literally have no use for. I wanted to change courses but it was too late and changing courses meant more money (student loan). So I stuck it through and completed my degree. Did my honors and ow well, I am at least comfortable with it. But my argument is, education is a trap!

Education is a trap that everyone fell for. Our parents always encourage us to go to university so we can secure a decent life in society because that is what they were told by the system, ‘get education so you can live a better life than the one we had’. But is it really a better life? Look at it this way, you get a student loan, graduate and stay at home after that because all positions in your field are occupied. With the thousands of rands wasted paying for fees, transportation, food, accommodation, stationary and the university lifestyle; man your empire would be booming right now. Let alone the time wasted trying to learn something that you probably won’t even use in the real world. Look, not everyone was born an entrepreneur and in the same breath, not everyone was born an academic. I was blessed with both but I feel like the system failed me by encouraging me to fall for the educational trap because that’s how the system makes money out of us. In just one academic year, there’s thousands of graduates from different institutions hoping to be employed by that one reputable company. Truth is, that company only has few positions opened, where does that leave the other bunch of hopefuls? Home and jobless. But had they taught us how to run our own thing we wouldn’t be home and jobless. We would leave university and go build our own legacy. The system does not give us options. It prepares you for employment where you are going to help someone else build their legacy. It does not say if plan A fails, resort to plan B which is building your own legacy. And it all starts in pre-school. You can ask the next 5-year-old you bump into; ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’ They will tell you about all these glorified professions and none of them will say ‘build an empire’.

Just like they feed us Maths, Science and ENGLISH as first language in high school, they must feed us Entrepreneurial skills and these must be compulsory. From pre-school till the last year of your qualification, a module dedicated to entrepreneurship has to be compulsory. Because should your degree fail to make you money, you will not be a useless graduate – you will know where to begin looking for other opportunities that will generate money. Education is a trap in a sense that at 22years old you have your qualification. You work for a good 8-10 years just to pay off your student loan. Only then you realize that you want to start your own business. By then life caught up with you. You have a little family that looks at you dead in the eye every month end. Quitting your job at this point is more difficult because you are the bread winner, literally. Now you are sacrificing a whole lot because you want to invest in your actual dream, a dream you were supposed to invest in before life got ‘real’. A successful businessman will tell you that whatever you make in the first 5 years of your business belongs to the business. Money, resources, EVERYTHING, you don’t pay yourself. But how when you have a family that needs to be fed?

I pray for a generation where we won’t feel bad because there’s no qualification hanging on the wall at your mother’s house, a qualification that makes you think you are better than the person without it, a qualification that consoles you when you feel like a failure because truth of the matter it, if you have a qualification to your name and that damn qualification does not make you money, sorry to tell you this, you are a failure that fell for the education trap. 

You The Damn Sh*t!

There is nothing more attractive than a person who is confident, NOTHING. Doing everything with confidence whether it’s what you should be doing or the other way around, a person that oozes confidence has already won this life thing. There is absolutely nothing that wastes someone’s time like insecurities, being scared and fearful and a low self-esteem. In 2016, you cannot seriously be struggling with accepting that there is something about you that stands out and there is no other like you, nowhere on this earth. You might have similar qualities, features and characteristics with others but there is that one thing that kills them all combined. And it all starts with one thing, believing in yourself and understanding that you are the damn sh*t. Look, people judge you based on what you put out there. I cannot possibly tell you what you are, I can’t. Matter of fact, whatever offish thing someone says to you shouldn’t even dent your confidence. You really have all the power over what affects you. In a case where someone really pierces your confidence – rule number 1: NEVER SHOW THEM THAT THEY WON. You will simply be giving them power over your happiness. Rather smile and walk away. Go to your room and wet your pillow with tears. It’s only you and your pillow that knows what was going on at night, the rest of the world don’t have to know. And there is nothing a power nap cannot solve – my theory :).

I am not saying fake happiness, don’t do that. If it’s so important to you and will change the price of your bread, tell them that what they did was not cool and you do not appreciate it, and move on. Do things that will bring you closer to happiness without showing the world that your confidence was bruised. Wear your crown with pride, wear your broken heart with pride, the scars, the hate, and the rest, kill it all with pride and bury it with confidence. When your inner self is happy, making rigid decisions becomes easy. They always say love yourself, I am not going to say anything different, DO LOVE YOUR DAMN SELF. Don’t go all out looking for confirmation that you the damn sh*t. Tell them that you the damn shi*t and let those who are uncomfortable with you be excused. It goes without questioning that not everyone will like you and that is sooooo ok, and who cares anyways cause you already like yourself.

With that being said, STOP being scared and fearful of what you have no proof of and no control over.  DO NOT let your insecurities push away what could’ve been good for you and lastly, change that LOW SELF-ESTEEM into CONFIDENCE because you got this, you are the GAAD DAMN SH*T..!

I’m done…

The exhausting voting process!

It’s that time of the year again in South Africa where citizens of this beautiful country are edged to vote for a political party they think can bring change to people’s lives. This post is about my opinion on the voting process, it is one of the reasons why many people didn’t vote. Besides the fact that it is difficult to choose which devil to let rule your country, the thought of waking up in the morning, go stand in the long line then hours later you only get to vote is draining. And the mere fact that the people that are employed to assist with the voting process at the stations treat you like you desperate to vote, like your life depends on the vote is more exhausting than the quarrels between these political parties. Arguably each person’s vote counts but honestly, most people have lived without the benefits of democracy.. What’s gonna be so different now? 

Another exhausting thing is that many millions of rands were spent in campaigning for the elections. That’s enough money to build homes for the people that are actually voting, improve our infrastructure and most importantly, renovate schools in poor communities. Had the political parties that went all out with the campaignging delivered what they promised it’s people, fhey wouldn’t have to spend so much money on campaigning. Satisfied citizens would vote for them with no doubt. The campaigning will mostly be about reminding the people that elections are coming up, not propagating people and convincing them as to why they should vote for them. 

Another thing, the registering and voting process is the reason why most people didn’t vote. I am not proud to say this but at the time of registering, I had other important things to do so I didn’t get a chance to register. And besides, there was no motivation to put in effort in making sure I registered because till this day, our parents and grandmothers haven’t benefited from this democracy they fought for, but with no fail you see them standing in those long lines all the time to vote for a party that only tells them to be patient, their time is coming. Perhaps the time will come when they are no more? 

Moving away from that, I do think that the election process should be made simple. We live in a generation where digital media controls everything. Instead of wasting money on propaganda, the government should invest in an online voting platform. Additionally, the government must create more jobs by hiring people who will go house to house and make sure every citizen registers. When it’s time for voting, the same people must go back to each household and make sure everyone votes. 

You can’t really expect a 95 year old grand parent to walk to a voting station and make their mark. The lines to the voting station are too long and one of the reasons why most people sit the elections out… 

My two cent, don’t quote me.

Lizeka

DILEMMA!

I have this one friend who is more confused than Itumeleng Khune in a relationship. So my friend Lale is dating this guy she claims she likes a lot. In her head, the vision of her future with this guy called Msaint is what she cannot wait for. However, their current situation does not bring her peace. Look, she’s dated before and knows how she treats her niggas, but for some reason, she can’t seem to treat Msaint the way she treated the guys that clearly did not deserve her. I want to steal 5 minutes of your time, please read till the end and advice :).

So Lale has a fair experience in relationships like everyone else. She has been hurt before and assumably has hurt others, asazi. But among all her ex’s she dated this one trash human who proper put her heart on his feet and kicked it like a ball, so she tells me. She says she loved him soo much that after him she totally changed. Not that she has gone through hell and back with this person but athi she proper loved him, you know when you love someone for no reason? I also looked at that relationship and thought to myself; ‘that’s a rubbish relationship, you are dating yourself’ but you know, you can never tell someone who’s in love that, they will simply nod and not hear a word you say. Moving on, they broke up months back and she tried moving on but it was not working out, I think. She met Msaint who’s had his fair share of shit relationships but is clearly smart enough to move on from the past. My friend Lale, I think she is still holding on. I say this because she likes comparing them – which is not fair because, to begin with, her ex is much older than Msaint which at his age, he has accomplished what is needed for a guy in that caliber. Msaint is still young and trying to find himself in the professional world (lack of a good word). And another thing is that the ex, let us call him Rajah. Rajah is popular and Msaint isnt. Rajah is a cool guy who gets girls talking and stalking, he dresses well, got the money and yeah, he can speak for himself. Msaint on the other hand is a normal guy who does not have half the things Rajah has (money, swag, following) and in a normal world he’d make a great husband, but who’s looking to get married in their early 20s?

Moving on, her ex moved on with a beautiful girl, much older and assumably more focused in life. He is doing all the things she dreamt off in their relationship. She exhausted all her love on him because she did everything she thought would make the relationship work and here comes this girl who rumor has it that she didn’t achieve half the things she has. PS: The ex does hit her up every now and then to ask her out on a date and stuff but she says no. Well her mind says no but her heart shouts YESSSS! But she’s never gone out with him because she claims she deserves better. Going back to Lale’s misery, Msaint treats Lale 200% better than the ex, he assures her all the time that ‘babe it will get better’ and that he would never do her wrong. She understands that but unintentionally pushes him to be the man her ex was, I assume. She’d say things like ‘the way you dress irritates me, why do you chew like that? broke niggas are f*ckboys’. I concluded that the problem so far lies with Lale. She means well but I think my friend is overwhelmed by this good guy Msaint who’s really trying to have a girlfriend that’s going to understand him and be patient with him. It’s either she is protecting her heart because she does not want to be patient with a guy who’s going to drop her like her ex did. Overwhelmed by this Msaint guy who she can choose to start from the bottom with and as soon as they get to the top, he makes it and drops her? Even though he says he won’t do that, HEY – you can never confirm a human being. And in general, Lale likes guys who are goal driven and do whatever it takes to better their lives, in short, Ambitious guys. Msaint says he has the ambition but she feels like he is slacking in terms of working towards his dreams. Yes, they are both young but in this day and age you do not want to be 40 and still ‘hustling’. Msaint and Lale are in their early 20s and the ex just turned 30. She’s met a number of guys who are in their early 20s and are far ahead in life, because of their hard work and dedication. She thinks Msaint lacks all of that, drive, dedication, and ambition. I side with my friend on this one, NO GIRL WILL DIVE INTO POVERTY HEAD ON, SPECTACLES ON WITH A ZOOMED IN VISION; forget it.

You get the picture, right? Lale could treat Msaint much better if he had the vision. She does not want to waste her time on Msaint because he treats her right and loves her the way she deserves but won’t be able to provide for them in future. Realistically speaking, we live in a materialistic world where love on its own won’t pay the bills.

What advice do you have for Lale and Msaint?

#OpenUpTheIndustry

So early in the morning the timeline is buzzing over the hashtag #OpenUpTheIndustry. I wanted to drop a thread on this topic but then again i realized that it is very much pointless, nobody listens and quite frankly, nobody cares. However i do agree that the South African entertainment industry is made up of more or less 50 faces. I wont name drop, i am sure you know the celebrities you watch on SABC 1 and 3 at the same time, you switch on your radio its their voice, you buy a magazine the front cover is them, you go to a mall their faces are on each and every store’s poster/catalog. To some extent i understand that ‘organizations’ use the same faces because they know that their money is guaranteed back, its business to them.

Its just a sad story for a university/college student who aspires to be on our TV screens and actually has the talent and to top it all, a qualification – just not the connects. When the only way in is if you keep on knocking on all these doors until someone opens. When they eventually open the door they want some of your assets; you sign the contract with your morals. It is sad, shem. Which leads to my next question; whats the point of going to school and study a media related qualification when your chances of working in the industry are literally below zero? You go to auditions every single day but chances are the producers of the show already know who they want. They are just wasting your time and the money spent to get to the audition. What bores me the most is that all these celebrities will tell you the same thing, work hard and put in the hours. You do exactly that but no results. Why not be honest with us? Tell us that we must work smart and make the right connects, sign your contract with your morals and hope nobody finds out.

The entertainment industry is ill, definitely not for the boneless and someone who isn’t willing to sacrifice a couple of morals to make it. It is made up of backstabbers, greedy people and fake humble souls. It’s all an act, it is not real. It is really for the passionate and people with no responsibilities. We are going to an era where the only way to make it is to do something crazy that’s gonna get people talking about you. For instance, Amanda Cele is climbing the ladder of fame through something so stupid like being blessed. A small girl who has an actual dream is sitting at home and watching Amanda’s interviews everywhere; to her head it is ok because its on the trending list. She uses the same route to become famous? Why do we need to sell ourselves short in order to make it? But then again venting about this won’t change anything. It’s either you pull up your socks and push harder like they always say, sell your morals and make it or go back to school, re-start a new qualification and go work somewhere else. I am not killing dreams, I am telling you now, dreams do come true- you can win if you want to; just provided that you ready to make a lot of enemies while on your way up.

The entertainment industry is a mess. It is not as glamorous as it appears on the outside. If i knew better before i started studying i wouldn’t have followed my passion. Because right now i am stuck with a useless qualification. Yeah i made it, passed well and graduated in duration time – but for what?

lol bye 🙂

 

SAVAGE HUMANS

 

Hey QueeIng 🙂

So like any other day we have conversations with interesting people who tell us interesting things. Something was said that struck a motivation from me. *SIDE NOTE*, i don’t just write, something has to get my attention, that’s how i get motivation. Anyways, we were talking about holding on to someone who effortlessly shows you that they are down for you as long as you meet them half way and hold them down. Yazi we take so much for granted; we take the people who care about us for a ride, push away the one’s that would literally break the law for us and invite in the ones that bluntly put it out there that they are savaging and don’t give two shits about your opinion nor feelings.

I know for a fact that there’s something attractive about a fuckish behavior. Fuckboys have iWOZA WOZA, fuckgirls too. For some reason we get attracted to people that show us that they WILL NOT walk an extra mile for us and go for the ones that would walk that extra mile provided that they are benefiting from that walk. It’s really sad that fuckboys and fuckgirls are a product of being fucked over countless times by someone who didn’t feel the same way they did, who lied to them countless times, cheated or whatever happened that broke your heart and took your faith in relationships straight to hell. I am very young, 22 years this year but experience and the lights in JHB forced growth in me. HUMANs are savage..! They lie their way to your heart, you’d swear they find joy in someone else’s heartache. 

Honestly i don’t know where i am going with this blog post but ke i’ll leave it khona la. But humans lets take care of those that take care of us. It’s very rare to find someone who is genuine and cares about you. Thing is humans don’t appreciate what they have until its gone. How’s about we appreciate it while we have it because we knew its value before we had it anyways. This generation is just f*cked up, it’s sad. I pray God sees us through this savage era we currently live in.

In other lighter news – It’s winter now, who you be cuddling with? Haibo the cold front in JHB is being extra. Lol someone posted and said ‘Bazalwane, if you find out that my partner is cheating on me please don’t tell me. Keep it to yourself till Summer, it’s too cold to be single’ hahaha. People be getting into relationships for the wrong reasons, bae’d up in winter and hella single in other seasons 😀 , nizofa yazi lol.

Good day 🙂

PREPARATION

Hey Queeing 🙂

I wanna share a bit of Wednesday motivation with you. I’ll mainly be focusing on preparation. Look, WHATEVER it is that you want to achieve can be achievable. As cliche as it may sounds, when an OPPORTUNITY meets PROPER AND PRIOR PREPARATION, your dream will come true. They always speak about hard work and i know I’ve never pushed myself to the core or wanted something so bad. It all really boils down to the effort you put in. Rather fail knowing you did your level best and there was nothing more you can give in, all inches were deep inside :).

My favorite girl Bonang always says human beings are a distraction and that’s the motto i live by on a daily. I have so many things i want to achieve before the age of 25 which is 3 years from now. Between now and 2019 i have to push myself so hard, prepare my things strategically and rather work smarter than harder. I on this day am challenging myself to pressa, pusha and phanda. I visit the drawing board every now and then to see if i can put in a new strategy that’s gonna help me get to my goal faster. Not to be confused with shot cuts, no one can cheat the hustle, we need to embrace the struggle because that’s the only way you gonna enjoy the riches of the fruits that were watered by your sweat. NgesiZulu bathi FUKUZA MFAZI, ngesi Sotho/Tswana bathi BEREKA MOSADI, i say proper and prior preparation prevents poor performance. Walk, talk and perform in faith, plead with your God to step with you and believe me, you will make it.

Challenge accepted KINGSLAY 🙂

Regards

Lizeka

MAN TF UP!

Hey Queeing 🙂

Ama start this blog post with a quote:

“People always underestimate the intensity of human connections.  Our generation is flawed. We are trapped between wanting to explore the world and its people sexually and wanting to be intimate with one person. We need to make loyalty cool again because it really is okay to be with one person. We endorse cheating, being playas and bad bitches but in all honesty iyasihlula lento 😔. That’s why everyone so hurt, because we treat our emotions like they’re a disease.  Love is real, despite what people want you to believe. Can’t wait to share this intimacy with someone who isn’t tryna waste my time. Be yourself at all times ❤️” – @Caseywaves on Instagram and Twitter.

I was scrolling through my instagram TL like always then i stumbled on this powerful post by one of my instagram friends Caseywaves. I read this maybe 3 times and every time i went through it, i whispered AMEN. We are indeed a lost generation and don’t even care to understand the true meaning of love and the importance of loyalty. I personally feel like we can’t take pride in this misfortune coz honestly it is ibhadi (bad luck). We are a cursed generation.

 Most of us grew up in broken homes where the people we should be looking up to which are our parents didn’t show love and affection for each other. We all know that growing up in a black household, abazali (parents) were very strict with what they do in front of us kids. For some twisted reason they believed that kissing in front of us, showing affection and being all cute in front of us will give us ideas that are misleading. WRONG! I am sorry to compare this but i have to make a practical example. White people know the meaning of true love, well most because they grew up in front of their parents doing all sorts of cute things for each other. Their father will come home with flowers for their mother and they are always affectionate. Their honeymoon phase is forever. As a kid watching all of this happen everyday, you aspire to do the same for your future wife or husband. Love is instilled in you at a young age. Thina abantu abendlu emnyama (we as black people) we are left in the dark. Mom and dad love each yes other but we never see it. They are only cute on their wedding anniversary. That’s why Valentine’s day is so important to a black person. Valentines should be EVERYDAY. Not to lose track of what i was saying, mom was always working extra hard. She wakes up early in the morning, prepares the day for all of us before she even begins planning her day. After work she has to come back, cook and do everything one man. After that she is tired. There is no time for them to cuddle up on the couch and be cute. If they want to do that, they go to the bedroom and hide it from us.

I really can’t blame us for being scared to show our partners that we love them. There’s a huge difference when a white couple is walking in the mall. They are holding hands, kissing and and and. It’s socially accepted and expected from them. Let a black couple do that, siyabajaja (we judge them). We say twisted things like they don’t respect abantu abadala, they were not taught well and they should get a room. We laugh at a guy who is in love with his girlfriend. Your boys make you feel weak for loving your girl, YOUR GIRL.

We’ve established that the problem lies with the mindset that was instilled in us sisakhula. Can we please not follow our parent’s footsteps and change the game? There’s really nothing wrong with showing the world that you love one person and they mean so much to you. We are a lost generation. The internet is fooling us even further. Love is portrayed as a disease and if you don’t hurt someone’s heart, awukho eyintweni (you not in style). As a result we all are in a war zone, gunning for each other’s hearts. It’s sad how we take pride in breaking someone’s heart. We say polluted shit like ‘No, i broke his heart. Did you see him chest pain? I was everything to him and he will never find any other like me’. Why why why? Why take pride in killing someone’s hope for love? You just gave birth to a fuck boy who’s gonna be out there gunning for every girls heart. Commitment is now a myth to him because he felt the pain of being in love WITH YOU. You are out there enjoying your life, you don’t even care about what happens to the next girl he gets with. Wena everywhere you go uyamosha. Little did you know that you also gonna get with someone’s trash and try making it a treasure. And i am not firing shots at girls only, gents also do this and this really needs to come to an end.

It really isn’t that difficult. When you see that your love for someone is diminishing, STOP stringing them along. Either find solutions and work on it together or set them free. Don’t go out there cheating on them – you are killing them. If you not happy about something in the relationship, COMMUNICATE IT to your partner. Don’t go looking for an example outside. If you see that your partner is not putting effort in how they look like, don’t go looking for someone who puts in effort just to prove a point. Tell them, help them understand the importance of effort and looking nice. The reasons behind cheating are really lame. Rather leave if that relationship doesn’t serve you no more.  Another thing is that your EGO won’t take you anywhere. There’s nothing wrong with showing and telling someone that you like them. You actually are setting yourself free because if they feel the same way, they will admit it and you guys work on it. If they don’t feel the same way; their actions wont change. That way you know that you have to let go and move on, done. Don’t be an idiot about how you approach your crush also. Be smart about it and check your approach because it is what’s gonna determine your stay in their life. You know who you think about every night before you sleep and who’s TL you stalk the first thing in the morning. That person caught your eye, act on it. Don’t front for us and lie to us, we don’t care. You the one dying inside and your pride wont take you anywhere. Man up and take the rejection as a man. Should she curve you, be thankful because she helped you. She could’ve entertained you and wasted your time. And also ladies don’t over do this ‘too hard to get’ thing, iyanyanyisa. Tell the dude ukuthi ‘my guy i don’t feels you’ so he can leave you alone. Ok bye.!

KINGSLAY 🙂

 

 

THE POWER OF CHESTIES

Hey you Queeing 🙂

If you have twitter and you just like the rest of us, the insomniac twitter, you will notice that everyday after midnight –  chestie hour begins. For those who don’t know, chesties means reminiscing over an ex lover, crush or whatever situation-ship you had with a significant other. We’ve all been through this or if not your day is coming boo, ain’t nobody dodging this bullet babes :D.

Here’s a story about a guy who fell in love with a res girl after 3 months of dating. Anything he felt after that three months was ‘whipped’…

You remember that day when you thought you shared the same sentiments with that one girl that you couldn’t even stop thinking about? Everything was about her. She made you feel special, wanted and appreciated. She showered you with gifts, money and trips – you basically felt like a god. You literally gave up your trifling (busy with multiple partners) ways and committed yourself to her? At some point you were even convinced that you are in love, lol smh. Maybe you were but just a little in love with the idea of being with them because of the benefits. Yes she did have an awesome personality, she was a nice yellow bone with queen twerk’s body. Her smile was gorgeous. Nothing else mattered but her. Seeing their name pop up on your screen made you smile in the middle of a funeral. Jokes but you do get what i mean right. A text from them brightened up your entire day. Your friends hardly saw you because you were always with this person, without them next to you; you felt incomplete. They gave you a feeling that you never thought your heart’s capacity could handle. You were alive when with them. Besides the fact that you only knew very little about her and trusted everything she told you; she was just the queen of your heart. Ok whatever..! Next thing you know your heart is dead over a text that reads: ‘Listen Mthoko you really are a good guy and i think you deserve better. I have found someone else and i am really happy with them. Do yourself a favor and move on. I am changing my number so you wont be able to reach me. I already moved out of res, i got an apartment so my address also changed. Don’t ask about me, don’t look for me, don’t even google my name. I blocked you off every social network so there’s no chance of you finding me. God bless you, BYE’.

You start doing some maths in your head, calculating how everything moved from zero to a hundred real quick. Just last week she took you to the Grand and showed you some booty. A month ago you guys went on a fully paid baecation in Zanzibar and you were just so dam in love to even ask where she got the money. Or maybe you believed her when she said she won the tickets on some online competition, yeah right. You don’t even have a job but you never needed anything from nobody because for the past 4 months she’s been paying for your apartment, ubering you around, buying you clothes – man your lazy ass got lazier. You even had bae allowance from a 3rd year res student; HOW THOU? Anyways you didn’t care coz when she told you that her trust fund money iphumile, you smelt money notes and smiled on. Trust fund where ebuya emakhaya ase natali? Awubuzi wena, you just happy that you being blessed. Moving right along, your chesties began baba. It’s late for you. What are you going to tell your friends when you know all they gonna say is ‘We did tell you though that your girlfriend is shady aff’… Who’s going to be paying your rent? The trips, dinner dates, expensive clothes and and and? You doomed bbz.

Next thing you know there’s this emotional pain in your heart you’d swear someone is piercing your heart with a sharp okapi but the twist is that awufi (you don’t die). At some point you even make peace with death nje because you tired of this pain that you don’t even know when it’s gonna go away. What most of us do ke in such situations, we resort to nake (alcohol). That’s where we all just walk into a boiling volcano head first, no worries or f*<k$ given, we just defeated. There’s just this thing man about nake that activates tears that God reserved for funerals, your wedding day or when you have your first child. My guy you can legit fill up  Nile river with chesties tears. Out of nowhere mid-groove (at a party) you break down and cry. BATHONG..! The DJ is just playing Drunk In Love. It just happened that you and your ex loved this song so much, whenever it came on – yall danced to it together. You guys even came up with a routine, how cute. Mid-groove wena you crying and doing the routine. Your senses eventually come back, you wipe off those childish tears and carry on with the turn up. You convince yourself that it’s probably because you getting sober. You reach for that tequila bottle on the table and down it. Your evil mates just look at you with that ‘You’re f*<cked look’. They don’t even stop you ke, little devils. At this rate you don’t even want to leave the club. You are deep within groove man. Now it’s way past 3:00am, the mood in the club changes. The DJ drops Drake, any Drake song for that matter but because ke nguDrake you break down and cry. Hao my guy? Your friends then rush you to the car, you cry the whole trip to hell. They ask you where you sleeping tonight, you give them your Ex’s location. They all shout NO but because chestie power too strong – you open the door of the moving car and attempt jumping out. The shock on their face is unimaginable. They somar take you there and leave you at her door step.

Obviously you did your research way better than the SAPS and found her whereabouts. I mean, who lets go of such blessings..? At least an explanation ke or something.

Now what..? It’s past 4:00am, she is probably sleeping or enjoying some morning glory, awazi but awunendaba, you go on and knock anyways. You hear their foot steps walking towards the door, you wipe your tears and try pulling yourself together, you don’t wanna seem drunk phela. They are half asleep, moody AFF. Tsiiiiii… That’s the door slowly opening. Their face at that moment, priceless. “Hao Mthoko kwenze njani ekseni kangaka? Ufunani?” She asks. “Yabona wena Nontombi Zikalala awungiboni. How you gonna leave me for that old ass faggot nigga of yours? He is not even handsome. What is it with him? I thought we had something special.!” You ask with so much anger man like you been waiting for this moment. The gangster in you is working over time at this point, hyped up by the alcohol. At this point you expecting two answers: either she feels for you and consoles you or kicks you to the curb. The b*#$h in her tells her that ukujwayela kabi lo. He’s gonna wake you up at this time and tells you a bunch of rubbish, tell him S#!t..! “We Mthoko!” she starts, “okokuqala nje uwena umuntu ongena mali, you the broke one and for your info, that ROLEX watch you wearing i bought it with his money”. At that moment you look at that watch on your wrist, you not only thinking about the moment she happily gave it to you. Man that smile on her face convinced you that she’s whipped and will never think twice about you. You look at her straight in the eye ball – your anger is fuming. You want to rearrange her face but at the same time you thinking about the number of years you gonna spend in jail. You instead take it off and throw it on the wall. DUMB nigga, why the hell would you do that..? Keep that thing and sell it, IDZIOT..! The 2% of your ego that’s left twerks out and protects your manhood. “I always knew you a little h*e. How the hell you gonna look me in the eye and tell me that you love me, next thing you dump me like i never made you orgasm? My friends were right about you, you shady aff, Mthoko clapsback. She chuckles.. If you know whats good for you, RUN..! “Oh no boo don’t get it twisted”, she goes again. You know very well that when a girl chuckles, whatever is coming after that is poisonous. You knew that you had to stop her right there and then because your drunk self couldn’t help you run. But instead you choose to man up and juta yourself that you going to take whatever comes like a man. “You were just another nigga on the hit list”, she continues. “And just so we get this out the way, your D game too short for me to even imagine coming. I faked all of that orgasm coz i didn’t want to bruise your ego, clearly awunaye udanki.! I fed your a$$, paid for your apartment and did everything for you. What weak man are you..? All you cared about was what i was doing for you and never cared about me. I got tired of febenzing for the both of us. So PLEASE Fokofa la kwami and never come back ok. BYE! *Shuts the door on your face*.

You do know that ntsiiiiii sound in your ears after the club due to the loud music. That’s all that’s ringing in your head right now.

At this point you don’t know what time it is coz your dumb ass threw a whole ROLEX  watch on the wall. You are drunk out of your mind, lost your phone in the club, the only numbers you memorized are hers, which don’t work no more, the police emergency line, your mom’s number and yours. You left your wallet in your friends car so awuna mali kuwe. You in North gate and your apartment is in Sandton. It’s a Sunday morning, the sun is rising. Omama bomthandazo baya esontweni. Instead of getting sober ingathi you getting drunker. It’s cold aff, tears just keep on rolling down your eyes. Not only are you thinking about those dustbin penis enlargement ads you used to see in town – that ‘just condomise’ ad from back in the day is playing in your head. Phela you used to jump in raw. At this moment you and God are best friends. You pleading with him to forgive you. “Ahh bruhh God i swear angeke ngiphinde ngidle ingane raw. From now on i will always use the dome. Just one last chance..! Shem, isi arum seNkosi. You see a bunch of people jogging past you. You start your jog to Sandton.

To be continued…